Nov. 4, 2006
 
COMMENTARY: Tweet, Tweet, Sucker
 
By Dale McFeatters
Scripps Howard News Service
 
Be grateful that the birds that infest our parks are pigeons. They may be dopey and mildly annoying but at least they don't run you down and eat you as would a recent discovery in Argentina.
 
There, paleontologists identified the fossils of the world's largest known bird, a 400-pound, 10-foot tall meat eater with a head the size of horse's, most of which is a really nasty looking hooked beak. This was not something you wanted to see hanging around your bird feeder.
 
The bird was of a species called "phorusrhacids" or terror birds. The scientists got that right. Seeking to reassure us, The New York Times account of the discovery says soothingly, "Until now, the only known species of carnivorous terror birds averaged five to nine feet high and had relatively small heads."
 
This bird was not only big but, the researchers believe, fast. Being flightless, it had to run its prey down. This particular bird lived 15 million years ago but the species itself might not have become extinct until 2 million years ago.
 
The super-phorusrhacid is like other terrifying creatures out of the distant past. You kind of wish you could see it in action but you're glad you weren't there when it was.
 
Nice pigeon.
 
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